again (i just like the script)

Smallville, 5th Season, Exposed

Lex: Tell me what you remember about King David.

Clark: King David?? Slew Goliath, saved his people…

Lex: And afterward, he saw a beautiful woman bathing and felt madly in love. The problem was, she turned out to be his best friend’s wife. So you know what our great hero did? He sent his best friend off to die in battle, so he could have her to himself.

We all need to believe in heroes, Clark. And even the best ones, are far from perfect.

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Smallville, 5th Season, Splinter

Prof. Milton Fine:

Brutus and Caesars. Jesus and Judas. They all started out as best friends. What happened? Well, if history teaches us one thing, it’s that even the most powerful men can be betrayed by those they trust the most.

The reason betrayal is such a predominant theme throughout history is really quite simple.

Duplicity is human nature.

Nonton Konser

Kemaren gw sama Laras harus ngeliput konser Fall Out Boy buat nu:B edisi Oktober.

Dulu, nonton konser atau misalnya dateng ke acara-acara musik gitu, gw pasti akan dateng pagian, dan berlomba untuk bisa berdiri di paling depan.

Ketika acara dimulai, gw ga perduli harus berdesakan dengan orang yang gw ga kenal, berbagi keringat, nyanyi bareng, jingkrak-jingkrak, ngacungin tangan, kadang kesikut dan kehabisan nafas, dan tetep histeris ngeliat si performer.

Anehnya kemaren di Fall Out Boy, semua rasa excited itu ga ada. Gw malah geleng-geleng kepala liat anak-anak ABG yang rela berdesak-desakan di depan cuma supaya bisa liat muka seorang Pete Wenz dari dekat, dan kalo beruntung bisa kena cipratan keringatnya.

Gw sama Laras duduk di tribune, (dan sangat bersyukur karena bisa duduk di tribune!) Terus kita sibuk ngetawain anak-anak ABG itu. Laras malah sibuk maenan hp sepanjang konser.

Aneh, kemana perginya semua butterfly feeling yang kerap gw rasakan kalo mau pergi nonton konser ? Kemana perginya semua perasaan bangga, kalo bisa pulang konser dengan basah kuyup ?

"Hm mungkin karena ini Fall Out Boy kali, elo biasa aja kan sama mereka" pikir gw.

Tapi enggak ah, kalo pun yang dateng American Rejects, Incubus, Arctic Monkeys, Interpol, atau siapalah yang gw suka banget, gw akan tetep menolak untuk bisa ada di depan pagar pembatas area festival. Gw mungkin akan beli festival, gw akan tetep jump around, sing along dan sebagainya, tapi gw akan berdiri di belakang sendirian dan nikmatin musiknya.

Yes, nikmatin musiknya, bukan capek, buang tenaga, dan kehabisan tenaga kesikut sana-sini.

Ternyata eranya gw freak out sama nikmatnya nonton sebuah gig udah lewat.
Gw lebih prefer party.

I'm so not gonna get over it.

Well, I was just having my 20th birthday like two days ago.

1bulan yang lalu:
Laras: Gw bakal ngasih surprise yang ga bakal bisa lo lupain!
Me: Yea rite.

1minggu yang lalu:
Laras: Hen, kita ngerayain bday lo Sabtu ya. Gw mau bikin dinner, kita aja berempat sama Gideon and Vita juga.
Me(mulai feeling ga bener): Oke lo atur aja cuy.

Pas hari ulang tahun gw:
Laras: Hen, gw ngajak anak-anak DATE lo juga di dinner besok ya.
Me (semakin penasaran): Oke.

Hari H:

Gw siangnya musti pergi kerja sama Laras ke Senayan City, pakaian gw nyantai banget, skinny, sneakers, tee, scarf, trucker, and geek glasses.
Selesai kerja jam 4, gw mikir, “jam setengah tujuh gw musti ke Penang, daripada gw pulang, makan waktu, mending gw nongkrong di mana gitu yang deket Penang biar gampang kesitunya nanti.”
Eh Laras, entah kenapa, mati-matian pengen gw pulang dan suruh gw ganti baju yang rapih, pake kemeja dan sebagainya.
Sebenernya gw males, dan gw tau banget pasti ini ada apa-apanya, tapi ya secara si ms.persuasive itu terus menerus memaksa, ya sudah akhirnya gw pulang untuk ganti outift.
Semakin dekat jam setengah tujuh gw semakin deg-degan, tapi gw pasrah aja.
Gw tau banget, gw memposisikan diri gw sebagai Laras, acaranya nanti ga mungkin cuma makan malam rame-rame terus pulang. Pasti bakalan ada sesuatu yang ga beres. DATE kita terkenal jago dalam memberi surprise kepada orang-orang yang berulang tahun. Haha.
Cuma ya, ya udahlah, surprisenya paling apa, sih? Ga bakal sampe ngelemparin telor juga gitu.
Tapi ya, entah kenapa, di dalem taksi, tiba-tiba masuk aja di pikiran gw, kayaknya nanti gw bakal dateng paling pertama, terus bakal ada special guest (gw ga tau siapa), dan mereka bakal dateng tiba-tiba bawa kue tart.
Hm,, oke itu agak sedikit standard untuk versi Laras. She always think outside the box, jadi gw yakin banget surprisenya bakalan lebih dari itu. Gw menghela nafas sambil keluar dari taksi.

Pas nyampe, langsung samperin mbak-mbaknya, “Mbak udah reserved atas nama Henry, ya.”
Mbaknya nunjuk sebuah meja, set untuk 4 orang doang, dan ada sebuah kartu kecil di atasnya, dengan tulisan gede banget “Dear Henry”.

Pas liat ukuran meja itu, otak gw langsung jalan, “Tuh kan bener, ga mungkin nih anak-anak DATE dateng semua terus gw dipesenin tempat cuma buat berempat. Hm… weird. Kayaknya gw bakal makan dengan orang lain, tanpa mereka… Beberapa wajah muncul di otak gw sambil gw jalan ke meja dan buka kartu. Ada wajah Ps. Jose, Ps. Jeffrey, Ps. Sidney, Om Uce, Melaney Ricardo (ya gw berusaha mensejajarkan pikiran gw dengan pikiran Laras, jadilah wajah-wajah itu yang muncul), dan anehnya ada muka Arini di situ.

Gw buka kartu itu, ini isinya:

“Dear Henry Gerson,

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!

We’re very sorry we can’t come to your birthday dinner, because tonight you’ll be having a beautiful date with a beautiful looking lady. She will arrive at 7PM sharp, please treat her nicely and have fun.

Now you’re no longer a 20 years old jomblo, cuz you have had a one night girlfriend! HA HA HA… gotcha!!!

PS. Everything that you and your date eat tonight will be on us! So, ENJOY!

Love,
DATE KG6 and your beloved ‘Willie’”

Oke, abis baca kartu itu gw langsung blank. Gw kayak, “BENER KAN!!!” Gw langsung sms Laras, “Anjrit lo!! I knew it!!! Heh, bukan karena gw jomblo 20 tahun terus gw ga pernah ngedate berdua sama cewek ya!”

Hmmpphh.. thanks btw buat Joe, tadi pagi dia buzz gw di MSN, bilang “Henry, gw denger kalian bakal makan-makan ya ntar malem. Sorry ya ga bisa ikutan,gw ada wedding.” Gara-gara Joe ngomong gitu, gw sempet yakin bahwa emang anak-anak DATE pasti pada dateng. TERIMA KASIH YA JO BUAT INISIATIFNYA!

Ya sudah dengan pasrah gw menantikan si cewek yang katanya cantik ini. Jam 7 datanglah dia.. Arini Monica, dengan dress warna turquoise (cantik memang), cengar-cengir, langsung nyamperin, cipika cipiki dan say happy bday. Gw kayak, “ARGHH Kenapa musti elo sih, Rinnn??”

Ya akhirnya, gw melewatkan makan malam berdua dengan Arini, gw musti pilihan dia makanan, pesenin dia minum, makanannya udah dateng, gw musti nyendokkin makanannya juga ke piring dia, dan sebagainya dan sebagainya. I said, “you’re so demanding, and hard to pleased ya?”
She said, “it is written on this card Henry, treat your date nicely.” DAMN.

Di sela-sela ngobrol gw tetep yang, “Duh Rinn, mauan aja sih lo disuruh Laras??” Hahaha. Terlalu banyak detail yang ga bisa gw taruh di sini, but I had fun lah intinya. Udah selesai makan, tinggal ngabisin wine, btw Arini minum wine kayak 3/4 botol, dan gw kayak 1/4nya doang. Eh terus si Arini minta tukeran tempat duduk, karena tempat gw duduk basically bisa liat orang-orang yang baru dateng. Arini bilang dia bosen, ngadep tembok, dia pengen ngeliatin orang-orang juga. Ya udah akhirnya gw turutin, tapi dalem hati gw mikir, “Hm.. mungkin ga ya dia nyuruh gw tuker tempat duduk, karena anak-anak gila itu bentar lagi akan dateng di belakang gw sambil bawa kue tart.”

Dan benar saja, datanglah mereka berombongan bawa kue tart, sambil bernyanyi selamat ulang tahun. Well.. thank you guys for everything. Buat Laras, makin sayang aja gw sama elo cuy! Buat Ci Vita, thank you Ci buat cardigannya!! Arini, untuk ngedate sama gw .. cowo-cowo banyak yang mau bunuh-bunuhan kali untuk bisa date sama lo, hahaha. Gideon, buat notesnya, I love it! Catherine, Silfi, Moniq, Ige, dan Ko Samy. THANK YOU!!

Abis dari Penang, kita hajar ke Kemang sampe setengah satu. Yuu.

Peanut butter sandwich

Last Sunday in Oxygen, Ps. Sidney told us this joke.

There are two kiddos sitting together having their lunch.
Both of them bring their own lunch from home.

Day 1, one of the kids opens his lunch box, and yells, “Oh no! Peanut butter sandwich!”

Day 2, it happens again, the kid opens his lunch box, and yells, “No way! Peanut butter sandwich again??”

Day 3, he does the same thing, opens his lunch box, and yells, “Oh I don’t like peanut butter sandwich!”

The other kid can’t stand him anymore. Then he asks, “Hey, if you really don’t like peanut butter sandwich, and you don’t want to have it for your lunch, why don’t you tell your mom, or whoever it is, who packs your lunch for not making you another peanut butter sandwich again. Ask for something else!”

And this is the response of the peanut-butter-sandwich-kid: “Hey dude, I pack my own lunch everyday!”

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Almost everyone in Oxygen laughed.
I was the one who laughed so loud.
This is what crossed my mind, “How stupid that boy is! He packs his own lunch everyday, and yet he complains!”
Do you laugh when you read that story?
Most people might have the same thought as I have. “How stupid that boy is!”
But, isn’t that what we all do everyday??
We pack our own “lunch”, and yet we complain!
We do the wrong things, deep in our heart we know that it is wrong, but we just keep doing it. And then one day, when we see the result, we complain.
We ask God, “why this is happening to me? I don’t like this situation! I don’t wanna be at this position. I don’t wanna end up here?”
Let me ask you this question, “who packed your own lunch?”
Was it your parents? Your friends? No, it’s you, your decision.
So, don’t complain. If you don’t want to have peanut butter sandwich as your lunch, then don’t make it, make something else, make something better.
Think twice before you pack your own lunch.
You don’t want to see someone staring at you, laughing at you, and wondering how you could be that stupid.

I Thought I Was the Only One

Laras, my friend, another blog-addict, just posted a very gud and touching posting.
This is it. (Ras, gw potong2 gapapa ya..)

Last night I saw Spiderman 3 (I know, telat abis ya, hahaha).. And the very last scene of the movie really stroked me. Yes yes, that part where Harry was dying and he was looking at Peter and MJ with such look..
Best friends. That's how people call it.
Then I asked myself, who’s you best friend, Ras? Someone who would die for you (well, most cases are not that extreme), someone you can always talk to about any things, laugh at any things (even the unfunny ones), someone who would be there for you and such..
Funny that I couldn’t find any names.
None.
I push people away because I don’t want to get hurt. But seriously, I never give up hope.. I gave chances to people here and there, but somehow they managed to fail my trust again.. And again. Classic!
But hey, breaking news, I survived.
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It's just funny. Yesterday I just posted something on my blog about how I feel tired with all those people that gave me such promises like,
"You can count on me."
"I'm all ears"
"You can trust me"
I just realized, it's just such a big CRAP!
It's just funny. This morning, when I prayed to God, I did say something like this:
"God, I don't know who are my best friends. Those names that I put on the list, they failed my trust. I'm tired of seeking a true best friend, Lord. But, I'm not gonna give up hope. I know one day, You'll give me one."

Finally

Crossed you off of the list.
Potential you were.
We will figure it out later.
If fate nods its head, I'll be grateful.
If fate says no, I'll move.
Too late, I moved on already.
I don't think this is my loss, yours maybe.
Ironic it is.
I love to run, don't hold me back, dear.
I'm not gonna wait. Enough waiting.
You're moving too slow.
Pathetic, huh?
I learned the hard way
At the end the only person that you can count on is your very own self.
"You can count on me, bro, dude, pal, dear, peach, jo, bo, cong, sob, mas, bang (apapunlah panggilan sayang orang2 ke gw)," they say.
"Zooppa double combo crappy crap" I say.

Belajar Apa Hari Ini?

#1 Belajar bahwa biar gimanapun, segalak apapun, nyokap gw sayang banget sama gw.

Tadi malem gw tidur jam setengah satu. Dengan harapan besok bisa bangun siang, pengen tidur sepulasnya. Eh jam dua gw kebangun, berasa pengap banget. Pas buka mata gw ga bisa lihat apa-apa, bukan gw mendadak buta (amit2 knock2 on the wood), tapi ternyata mati lampu. Jadilah segala jenis mesin pendingin ruangan ga bekerja, panasnya bukan main!! Gw coba pindah ke ruang nonton tv, banyak nyamuk, gw jadi ga bisa tidur sampe sahur. Abis sahur nyokap gw tiba-tiba ke atas dan manggil gw, “Hen sini tidur kamar mama, entar mama kipasin.” Dalam keadaan ngantuk parah tapi ga bisa tidur saking panasnya, gw beringsut pindah ke kamar bonyok gw. Langsung ngegeletak di kasur, di samping nyokap, terus nyokap gw ngipasin gw pake kertas karton majalah gitu. Oww so sweet ga sih??? Umur 20 masih manja sama nyokap?? So what?? Kalo ga ada dia gw ga lahir jo!

#2 Belajar untuk ga jorok kayak ibu-ibu di mikrolet.

Gw lagi naik mikrolet. Ada ibu-ibu di depan mata gw dengan cueknya ngorekin gigi pake tusuk gigi. Parahnya, abis dari gigi, tuh ibu bukan ngelap di tissue, tapi malah ngelap ke jempolnya sendiri! Jadi tuh sisa-sisa makanan, di korek pake tusuk gigi, dipeperin ke jempolnya sendiri, abis itu udah banyak ngegumpal gitu, dipeperin sama dia di bawah jok mikrolet. Ya oloh!! Sumpah jijiknya parah… coba ya perempuan-perempuan di luar sana, inget kodrat!! Tomboi boleh, cuek boleh, tapi please jangan jorok!!! GILA.

#3 Belajar untuk lebih prihatin sama orang.

Gw lagi nyeberang jembatan. Eh tau-tau pas turunan, orang di depan gw, bapak-bapak umur 30an gitu, jatuh kepeleset. Gw malah spontan ketawa. Untung jarak gw mayan jauh di belakangnya, jadi ga kedengeran kalo gw ngetawain dia. Haduhh .. maaf ya, Pak. Tapi saya emang spontan pasti ketawa kalo liat orang jatuh. Biarpun temen sendiri, reaksi pertama gw pasti ketawa dulu baru nolongin. Entah kenapa liat orang kepeleset terus jatuh keduduk itu bisa bikin perut gw geli banget. Maaf yaa, Pak !

30 Second to Mars, The Kill

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life.
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for
I'm not running from you

Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now: this is who I really am inside
I Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM

"take it easy bro," she reminded me.

Magical says:
Lo sama dia slalu gitu ya.. deket ama cewe disaat yg sama. Hahahahhahhahaha... temen, i know. Tapi happen selalu disaat yg sama, kalian deket sama orang yg sama. Ada competition in disguise kah? Hahahahaha.

Henrygerson says:
Iya ya? Tau, gw juga heran sendiri.

Magical says:
Be careful anyway.

Henrygerson says:
Santhaai, it's not like im gonna feel a fling toward this new person.

Magical says:
That's not what i mean. Santaii aja temenannya.

Henrygerson says:
Ya ya ya ngertiiii!! Ya ya since gw punya sindrom easily-fall-to-someone-nice-and-soon-take-them-as-bestfriend

Magical says:
BAGUS. U READ BETWEEN MY LINES.

*thanks for the gentle reminder...

Testimony of the month from Ms. Silly yet Smart.

- Special -

Dear Henry…

Met you for the first time, found out that you’re fashionable with your unique look. Shall I tell you… you rocks!

DATE for the first time, found out that you’re talented. Just pen and paper… shall I tell you, you’re a writer!

Saw you at JPCC for the first time, you were doing your journalist work. You smiled and waved your hand to me, shall I tell you… you’re a friend!

SMSed you for the first time, you were eating fried prawn. You listened, you replied, you shared, you encouraged, you built life. Shall I tell you, you’re good!

Your looks, your talent, your smile, your attitude, your love, your thoughts, your hands … Make you special.

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Ow.. this is so nice. Silly yet smart, you have touched me to the core of my heart!! I was speechless when I read this. I really don’t know what to reply. Thanks for everything, nice to have you as friend, hopefully we can walk this path and grow together in Him.

*Later on in the car.

Me: Yeah I know it was all about stupidity. But thankfully, I am not that stupid anymore.
Silly yet smart: Ya haruslah!! Kalo ga gw bakal gamparin elo!!

school time will never end

Little yet big sister says:
Hen btw, maksud nick lo apa sih?

::henrygerson:: damn acceptance and adjustment! says:
Gw benci menerima dan menyesuaikan diri. Semua orang selalu minta dimengerti. Capek tau ngertiin dan nerima orang terus-terusan, giliran gw ada cacatnya dikit udah kayak paling salah sedunia. Tapi yaa.. mau apa lagi?? We can only say “damn it”, and pretend like everything still ok.

Little yet big sister says:
YEAP so true. Which is kadang orang juag ga mau nyesuain diri buat kita.. hahaha ga adil banget yaks

::henrygerson:: damn acceptance and adjustment! says:
Life is never fair peach. Trust me, lo baru 16, ini soal sahabatan doang. Smakin lo gede, smakin banyak lo ketemu masalah dan orang brengsek di luar sana, dan lo harus tetep jadi orang yg sabar. Being a Christian is all about being different yet relevant. It's such a huge homework!

Little yet big sister says:
Huhhhhhh sebal. Well.. emang ada ya Hen yang lebih ribet dari friendship? Kalo ada, hufffffffffff.. bisa mati muda gue hahahaha.

::henrygerson:: damn acceptance and adjustment! says:
Boo... ini cuma maslah ditinggal sahabat sendiri, karna lo berdua akhirnya sadar lo berdua ga cocok. Bisa aja nanti lo gedean dikit ketemu masalah punya pacar, tapi pacar lo direbut sama sahabat lo. Ada juga masalah kerjaan.. ketemu bos gila, partner yang ga bisa diajak kerja sama. Musti cari duit untuk biaya hidup. Belom proses pacaran yg puji Tuhan kalo bisa cuma sekali, kalo ternyata dapet yang berenggsek juga? School time will never end, dear.

Little yet big sister says:
This is exactly what you have.

::henrygerson:: damn acceptance and adjustment! says:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’m flattered!

Little yet big sister says:
Hahahahahahahahaha

::henrygerson:: damn acceptance and adjustment! says:
Shush!! Or my pride will strike back

interesting

I had an interesting nite.

One more thing I learned about leadership: You cant choose your followers. You have to accept them for being whoever they are. They come to you, they feel they can get along with you, then they stay, if they dont feel that way, they leave.

But this is another truth: I can accept everyone, but I cant be friends with everyone.

i shall not envy the IT. haha.

After the previous posting about envy, I got a lot of feedback from my friends. These are some of them that make me feel grateful of what I have, of my life, of being the imperfect me.

1. both are unique, emang lo harusnya ga envy sih ke dia. u have what he doesnt have, and he has what u dont have.

2. u guys are incomparable.

3. seinget gw dia muji lo.

4. mana gw tau kalo lo bakalan lari sementara yang lain lelet?

5. kalo ga ada lo cerita ke siapa mereka?

6. childish!!

7. dodol banget sih ngiri karena ga punya bakat itu! lo kan punya bakat lain!

8. at least u dont have a prince-attitude. (hohohoho)

9. thanks hen, uve been helpful to me. wont go through that without ur help!

10. thanks hen.. (from the girl who just started to trust me)

Akibat terlalu pintar dan merasa pintar!

Kasus Terlalu Pintar.

Tadi pagi nih, di kelas Political Communication dengan dosen dari UI. Si dosen itu kembali berulah dengan datang terlambat. Minggu lalu dia ga dateng, terus di adain kelas pengganti hari Jumat, dia tetep dateng telat parah. Eh tadi datengnya juga telat parah!! Gila ya. Dipikir enak nungguin dia??

Dateng bawa asisten dosen yang katanya mahasiswa dia di s3 UI. Dia langsung duduk, terus cek absen, eh terus ngomong gini, "Ini asisten saya, kalo saya ga bisa dia yang gantiin. Kayaknya professor kayak saya kurang bisa ya ngajar S1 gini."
Gw yang "WANJENG!"

Terus, di tengah2 kuliah, temen gw ada yang mau ke WC. Kebelet banget.. di samping itu dia juga punya penyakit gitu kayak ada luka di mulutnya, kalo batuk suka keluar darah. Dia minta ijin keluar, ga boleh sama dosennya!!

Dosen: Kalo kamu mau keluar, keluar bawa tas kamu jangan balik lagi. Jangan ganggu pelajaran saya, saya ga perduli alesannya apa. Di UI juga saya terapkan gitu. Saya nih ngajar di UI, saya pernah ngajar jenderal, saya pernah kuliah di Stanford (atau apalah gitu)

Sumpah YA!! Kelas gw langsung hening seketika. Kalo temen gw sekarat di kelas tetep ga boleh keluar juga?? ANJRIT.

Terus tiap berapa kali dia ulang terus, "saya dosen di UI", "dosen saya dulu Gabriel Almond waktu saya kuliah di Stanford", pokoknya bangga2in diri gitu dikit2. Najeesss!! Terus anehnya dia suka skip gitu kadang, suka tiba2 diem .. bengong, pandangan kosong, ngeliatin pintu atau tembok kayak ada setannya. Gila saking pinternya kali ya?

Abis itu hpnya juga suka bunyi, tonenya gini, Kringggg Kringggg, kayak bunyi telpon jaman dulu. GA PENTING BANGET. Kalo berdiri ga bisa diem, suka goyang2 kayak mau joged poco-poco, gw demen lagi ngajar kolesterolnya naek biar tiba2 kaku. Gila, tae banget sumpah.

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Kasus Merasa Pintar.

Kemaren sama temen gw mau pergi kerja. Kita naik lift dengan beberapa orang lainnya. Gw ngobrol sama orang, terus temen gw ngobrol sama orang lain juga tentang majalah yang dia punya. Orang itu bilang gini, "majalahnya bagus, tapi kebanyakan artikelnya yaa??" Spontan gw nengok, dalem hati gw bilang, "BEGO!! Menurut lo?? Baru kali ini ada orang bilang majalah kebanyakan artikelnya! Kalo majalah banyakan gambarnya dari pada artikelnya itu mah namanya komik! Kalo majalah banyakan iklan daripada artikel terus apa yang bisa diambil infonya dari majalah itu??" Tolol parah tuh orang. Mbok ya kalo komen tuh yang bener. Orang temen gw udah bikin cape2 nih majalah, terus komennya gitu yg ga masuk di akal. Padahal semua orang memuji majalah temen gw. Sinting. Begitulah kalo merasa terlalu pintar.

silly yet smart

silly yet smart: You helped me a lot, i still keep your smses. Next time, if you have any problems, you can count on me, I'm all ears. He he...

Remember, men are like wine, women are like milk.

me:what do u mean by that?

silly yet smart:cowo tuh makin tua makin diburu, cewe makin tua makin ga laku, alias basi kayak susu. one day the girl will regret for not being with you, because you're a high quality bachelor.haha!

me: oh thank you. you make my night! did u really mean what u said?? or you just trying to light me up??

silly yet smart: no, it was sincere, from the bottom of my heart. haha!

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nice to know you, ms silly yet smart. remember, you're attractive, beauty is in the eyes of the beholders. just upgrade your behaviour hahaha.

my own story of envy

Last nite at DATE, we discussed about envy/jealousy.

I have my own story about it that I didn’t share last nite.

I currently do envy someone.

But I never wanted to make it looks like it really matters to me.

No, I don’t think it’s necessary for other people to know.

Because, I know envy is just about stupidity.

Well, I have this particular person, my friend.

People always think that we’re bestfriends, because so often they see us both together.

But, hm .. I dunno, maybe we’re not bestfriends, at this moment for sure, maybe in the future, I dunno. But if you ask me, yes, I would like to be this person’s bestfriend.

Ok, let’s just call this person, IT. Sometimes I just envy IT, for having such a great family, not just great, but also wealthy. IT gets all the facilities that I couldn’t have. IT has the skills that I don't have that most of the girls would fall for. IT loves sports, while I love fashion, the latest trend, entertainment world, and all other stuff that people called swishy or not too manly. When I’m standing next to IT, or when I’m walking with IT, I feel like I am hidden behind ITs shadow. Umm .. maybe not hidden, but covered. If they talk to both of us, soon they will realize that IT has so much more than what I have.

It kinda hard for me, to meet IT, or to be there next to IT, because actually sometimes it’s killing me!! But, yeah, I know, that envy is just about stupidity. So I decided not to make it bigger. I just have to be more grateful and learn to see what I have in my life, instead of busy seeing things that I don’t have in my life. I’m just human.

this semester, 5th semester. another fight to get more than just 3.5

Setelah melewati berbagai kegilaan di semester genap yang identik dengan subjek yang lebih banyak “praktek” daripada teorinya, di mana semua seperti jadwal sinetron kejar tayang. Akhirnya, sekarang gw kembali memasuki semester ganjil, yang lebih identik dengan subjek yang banyak teori dan logika, lebih banyak duduk di kelas, dan mempersiapkan makalah serta presentasi. Lebih santai dibandingkan semester genap, tapi tetap ngejelimet buat dimasukkan ke cerebrum ini.

Angka SKS sedikit berkurang, dari 23 sks di semester 4, di semester 5 ini gw cuma perlu menyelesaikan 17 SKS. Pelajaran semakin sedikit, bukan berarti tugas berkurang.

Subject2 baru yang gw musti hadapi di semester ini adalah:

1. Political Communication.

Hadoohh .. ga jelas juntrungannya apa tujuan gw belajar ini. Untuk berkomunikasi saat berpolitik, atau untuk berpolitik saat sedang berkomunikasi?? Yang pasti subject ini diajar oleh dosen UI lagi!! Ga cukup semester lalu gw dapet 2 orang dosen UI, yang gara-garanya nilai gw jadi B. Huaa .. taulah seberapa pelitnya mereka memberi nilai. Metode pengajaran mereka ga bisa dicerna otak mahasiswa kampus gw yang berpola hidup santhaiii.

2. Introduction to Statistic.

Gila, ya! Gw pikir setelah gw melewati ujian nasional di SMA dua taun lalu, gw akan terbebas dari pelajaran sampah yang disebut orang Matematika. Tapi ternyata, di jurusan gw ini yang gw kira ga ada relevansinya sama sekali sama pelajaran tae itu, semester ini gw harus menemui pelajaran serupa yang berhubungan dengan rumus dan kalkulator. Untungnya pelajaran statistik ini cuma 2 SKS. Dosennya juga sangat menyebalkan.

3. Post Production and Editing.

Ketemu lagi dengan Mam Candy, si dosen Filipin yang baek hati dengan

gaya

bicara yang sangat unik. Production (dibaca prodaksyong sama dia hahaha!! Serasa orang Perancis yaa??). Di sini gw bakal belajar mengedit sebuah produksi, ya sesuailah sama judul subjeknya. Ini salah satu mata kuliah yang bisa gw andalkan untuk menggenjot IP.

4. Development of Communication Technologies.

Mungkin ini pelajaran yang paling gw bisa, dan gw banget. Mata kuliah ini berbicara mengenai komunikasi melalui teknologi, salah satu assignment akhirnya adalah membuat blog .. hahahahah gampil !!! Salah satu tugasnya lagi, rajin buka buka web dan join mailing list. Yuuuu.

5. Organisational Communication.

Mata kuliah ini menurut gw ga terlalu menarik. Tapi dosennya cara mengajarnya lumayan enak, dia ramah, bawel, dan pake sistem belajar two way. Jadi kita ga cuma diem duduk dengerin dia sampe bosen, tapi kita bisa interupsi, walaupun interupsi untuk menanyakan hal-hal ga penting seperti apa gossip terkini. Dia akan senang hati menanggapi. Haha.

6. Indonesian Legal System.

Gw ga percaya, di tengah kuliah komunikasi gw masih musti belajar yang namanya hukum!!! Gw ga mau jadi pengacara, gw ga perduli soal gitu-gituan!!! Dosennya sangat membosankan. Gabungan antara Mam Rini dan Umi, monoton, konservatif, old-skool, presentasi pake ohp bukannya power point bikin mata sakit, musti rajin nyatet, dan musti dengerin dia sedikit2 membanggakan kehidupan keluarganya yang pintar pintar !! Yay ! Heran, gw kuliah komunikasi, tapi pernah belajar Desktop Publishing yang harusnya buat anak desain grafis, terus ada Photography yang harusnya buat anak Advertising, belajar Drama Literature yang harusnya buat anak IKJ, belajar Psychology, belajar matematika, terus sekarang gw harus belajar hukum juga ???? Damn. Absurd sangat sepertinya major yang gw ambil.

spooky it was!

Finally, after seven weeks of what so I call boring, I have to admit tonite that COC is such a great class.

It was praying time.

The so-called-spooky man said this when he prayed for me,

“Let your self-image become clear in God,”

The first word that he mentioned was, “Gambar diri”

I was shocked, in a way. I was like, “Damn it. Please not that word!”

I thought I had a pretty clear self-image, and there is nothing wrong in me anymore.

I know myself so good, but I am not. That is what God was trying to tell me about.

Then the spooky man continued,

“Do not care of what people say about you,”

DANG!! How did he know?? That I always easily got affected by what people say about myself.

I never told him a single thing about my life, since we never talked before.

But he read me like a book.

I started to cry. H-spee was talking to me, this is what he said, “I know you, I know your life, I know everything that happen in your life, even though you are trying to hide it from me. I can always see you. Don’t keep yourself apart from me, Henry. This is the time to get yourself back to me.”

Then the spooky man hugged me, and he said this, “He wants you to know that He loves you so much as a father, more than what your biological father could give to you.”

He hugged me tighter every second. I felt warm, I felt save, I felt as if God Himself was standing there and giving me a hug.

A hug from a father is something that I always longing for.

I was crying like hell.

These last few weeks I felt so superior, but now He kind of remind me, that He is the one, the ultimate superior in my life, and how small I am compare to His greatness.

another-swing-me-the-worst-lullaby

“I put you there because I thought you can cooperate with the other two. I think you can make such a good team with them. Well I didn’t know that they are gonna walk so slowly like this while you are running so fast.”

-keep my heart low oh God-

Ropes Analogy

Having a relationship in your hand, is like holding a rope in your hands.

Once you have problems with the relationship you have, it'll be like you cut the rope. Disconnected.

Some happen because they are meant to be cut, but some are not.

The most painful is, when you cut the rope that wasnt meant to be cut. You put all your efforts to connect the rope by making a knot. It might work out, you might have your rope back, but it now has a knot in the middle of it. It wasnt smooth at all, like it was before.

What painful for me, is knowing the fact that I am the one in charge .. I am the one who is to blame for accidentally cutting some of my precious ropes.

Ropes, sorry for being stupid. Sorry for cutting you, at least I tried to put it back together by making a knot. I know it will be different, but everything deserves a second chance. Rite??

i just like the script

"I learned the hard way, that people keep secrets for a reason, even from the people they are closes to" - Lois Lane

"It must've been so hard being so different, having everyone judge you when they dont even know you, knowing that are some people that might not accept you" - Chloe Sullivan

Pride

“Henry .. stop doing this. You’re killing yourself!”

“I don’t care, Zac. I’m craving for this.”

“Don’t be stupid, Hen.”

“I’m not perfect, Zac. I can’t be the smart and wise guy all the time.”

“Henry …”

“Shut up, Zac!”

I walked away and left him.
I know this is not the first time I shush him.
But sometimes he’s just too annoying.
I know he’s doing the best thing for me, to protect me, to prevent me from being such a failure.
But I can’t handle this stubborn head.
Maybe that’s the reason why I feel so dry lately.
I protect myself by hiding behind the stronghold.
I think I have successfully destroyed my strongholds, the first one was seeking attention from others, the second one was my insecurity, my being low self-esteem and unconfident.
Unconscious, slowly but sure, I have managed to build another stronghold.
This time it’s called pride.
With all the great opportunities and achievement that I have gained these last 3 months, has made me so cocky.
From inferior I turned out superior.
Now I understand why I keep smiling seeing everything that I did wrong lately.
I just don’t care, I keep telling myself, that I did the right thing. Deep inside, I know, I have done some wrong things.
I have put some wrong steps to the wrong directions.
But again, “I don’t care”, I said.
Because I have the most dangerous sin in me, Pride.

I turned around and tried to call Zac.
But he’s gone. Too late.

-it is important for you to know what kind of stronghold that you have in you that protects you and keeps you in your comfort zone-

Pathetic

“I always get what I want.” Crap. For me people who believe in that line are pathetic. Because, the truth is .. you don’t always get what you want. There must be particular moments where you don’t exactly get what you want, where God says No to you for your own good. So people who keep saying that line to convince themselves are, sorry to say, in denial .. in other words pathetic. Yes .. pathetic!! They have been living in their beautiful world of perfectionism. Reality does bite, face the truth that it’s not always about you. I don’t know who’s to blame, I’m sorry. *sigh* the art of acceptance .. who am I to say that I am better than you?

I HAD FUN

I had fun. Yesterday I got to go to my campus, needed to fill the KRS form. The grade from three of my subjects from 4^th semester has come up. I got B for Psychology, A for TV Broadcasting, another A for Theories of Persuasion. So far, my total grade is still 3.52.

After KRS, I went to BNI, ate Kentucky alone. I was starving like hell.

After Kentucky, I went up to 37^th. Oxyten Shoot for Independence Day on August 17^th. Me and Kins were wearing Betawinese outfit. Peci, sarong, syal, .. we enjoyed the shoot. It was really fun .. but unfortunately we had to retake because of the peci. Since Kins cannot do the retake, I asked Laras to replace her.

So finally we got the chance to do presenting at Oxyten together. Haha. It was quick. Since we did hang out together, it wasn’t difficult for us to get the chemistry on the camera. I really enjoyed every segment; we used the usual jargon that we usually use daily like: emberrrr (it’s a must ya jo!), rumpi rumpi rumpi (I don’t know where did you get that idea, but it was fab!). The most interesting part is, we used the song Halo Djakarta from Guruh Soekarno Putra, yes the same song that Melaney and Iwet use for the opening bumper for Drive n Jive. Hahaha!! Can’t wait to see it on Sunday.

After the retake, we spent our time in secretariat. Chatting, laughing, watching Ocep edit the video. You’re the man, Ocep!!!

Around 7, we cabz .. straight to home. But it was raining. So we rented the UMBRELLA, and we walked together under the umbrella to Laras’s car. That scene really recalled my memory of some particular scene from Ugly Betty where Mark and Wilhelmina walked together under the umbrella. I’m Mark of course, what do you expect? Haha. Laras kept saying this, “Mark we need to walk faster .. you’re just too slow.” OMG, she is just so Wily, isn’t she? Evil-botox-faced-hag. Hahahahahaha .. I remember I was saying something like this (I’m sure you can’t hear this Wily, because I was just murmuring), “I can walk faster, you’re the one who can’t since you just got your ass-lift week ago.” Ooops .. did I just leak the information, Wily?? Hahaha.

Got stuck with the traffic while listened to Melaney and Iwet somehow made us so impulsive. Soon we decided to just go to Kelapa Gading and ate something. Laras needed to stay alive!!! Haha. So she called Gideon and asked him to accompany us.

To make it short, there were we .. berondongs, having our date again with you Ras. We ended up at WGP, where we chose Nasi Uduk Kebon Kacang to immediately satisfy our tummy, I mean Laras’s tummy. Haha. She ordered tahu telor, which means you know .. the normal tahu telor that I usually see at Sate Khas Senayan. But this waiter, who just happened to be in Jakarta for about a week, he kept talking in Tegal accent which made me feel slightly like vertigo, he gave Laras the literally tahu telor, 1 tahu + 1 telor. Dumbby dumbby dumb waiter!!

During our dinner, we asked Gid whether he has prepared his stuff or not, you know this rockstar always traveling around with all the make-up kit, manicure set, all zara and topmen outfits, body lotion .. all high-maintenance guy must-have-tools. Lol. He is about to go to Singapore tomorrow (which is today), to get his rhinoplasty (how ungrategul you are, I thought you feel content with what you have). See how high-maintenance our dude is?? Haha. Make you sure you get the right shape and size yatz!

After WGP, we went to Gideon’s house. There we just sat together on the carpet, talking, gossiping, mocking each other, tiramisuing (does this word available in dictionary? Oh who cares anyway?), taking pictures. Hoho like always narcissm comes wherever whenever. Oh and by the way, we got your secret Ras .. about the stalking .. hahahaha.

Around 10.30 we cabz. We lifted our ass from the floor and brought it to the gate, then we stopped there and started to chat again, standing under the moon light, accompanied by mosquitoes, haha. Then my father called, so we stopped, we walked to Ras’s car .. but just like before we stopped and chat again there .. Well, it’s more like Laras sharing session, sih. Me and Gid just standing before, listening, nodding our heads, and saying .. “yeah, you’re right.”

I feel lucky for knowing these two gokil people and kinda proud to call them friends. Roti, selai .. and .. Japanese Rock Star. AHAHAHAHA.

Mirrors

Just happy to find out that the mirror is perfectly fine. I thought I need to repair it, since there was the period where I can’t see myself through it. Well the fact is, it wasn’t broken, it was just blur because it was full with dew.

Just happy to find out that the other mirror says, “you’re the best”. I’m flattered. Nothing else can beat that.

Just happy to find out that the smallest mirror says, “you’re the greatest, I really am grateful to have you.” Well you know what?? It seems that I always love to put you as a joke. Sorry for that, can’t help it, but you know the truth, I love you.

Just happy to find out that this particular mirror finally trusting me. I don’t mind if you buzz me in the middle of the night, or in the middle of a hectic deadline. I will always gonna be there for you and listen to all your sorrow.

Just happy to find out that this mirror doesn’t get angry easily. Yesterday it tried to help me. The ungrateful me, acted like a dumb, and pushed it away. I’m sorry.

Well, I don’t know if I can count this one as a mirror. All I know that at least it gave me the last hug. So often when I look at myself into it, I feel weird and small. But I know deep inside, I wanna be like what it was reflecting to me.

Another Advice from Zac

“Happy?”

Zachary asked me when I hopped out of the taxi.

I smiled, “Are you kidding me? Of course!”

I walked straight to my gate, but then I turned around.

“You know what? Even better. I feel satisfy.”

“Hm .. Let me tell you something. Don’t be easily satisfied with what you see before your eyes right now. It might change someday. This is just temporary. Never assume a single dot before you see the clear picture, Henry.”

Stupid Us.

She entered the room beautifully.

I watched her, I knew that he was watching her too.

“Look at her,” said Mr. Hehe.

“What??” said I.

“Are you sure that she has no younger sister??” asked Mr. Hehe.

“Yeah.”

Mr. Hehe sighed. “If only she had a younger duplicate of her.”

I smiled. “Yeah ..”

“But you have to walk over my death body first, dude.” thought I.

I strongly suggest you to watch Nip/Tuck and see this Ava Moore girl. LOL.

Stupid Them.

So the guy came with plain t-shirt, simple jacket, a backpack slung over his left shoulder, and a smile. They call him Mr. Average. (thank God he didn’t wear flannel. LOL.)

Him: Hey ..

Her: Hey ..

Then came the awkward silence .. krik krik krik krik.

* After he went away, I soon regretted the fact that I just missed the moment where I can slap them both during their awkward silence and screamed “WAKE UP” to their ears. LOL.

Me: What was that?? I think I just saw the scene from Smallville where Clark meets Lana. Haha. You’re lucky because Lex wasn’t there.

LOL.

Self-Confidence

Yesterday at Oxygen, I watched a very inspiring video, about a girl, Lena, who was born with no arms, and one of her leg is just half size of her normal leg. Most people will probably think that this girl would have no future. What can you expect from someone who doesn’t have arms?? Someone who only has one and a half legs?? If I were her I might not be able to do things that most of the people can do.

But this girl, she is just different. She has great will, has a big confidence in her, and has a strong conviction that she’s no different from other people. She can do what most people can do. She swims, she became an athlete when she was young, she can paint, she can cook, she can knit, she has a great voice that makes her a professional singer, and she also can drives with her leg! She can do more than what I can do as a perfect, health, normal creature. What a shame!

And this is a part of her lines from the interview scene that really touch my heart.

Interviewer: Did you ever complain?

Lena: Yes, I complained just like others. I complained when I was sick, I complained about this and that .. but I never complained for having no arms.

Interviewer: Why?

Lena: Because I don’t have to.

Interviewer: Why you don’t have to complain?

Lena: Because I still can do anything that others can do without my arms. Happiness doesn’t come from holding a pen with your hand, you can do that with your legs. Happiness comes from love, from your relationship with others.

Wow. This girl has such a big heart. It really makes me realize about how stupid I am all these years. I’ve been complaining about a lot of things, sometimes I complained for small things that didn’t really matter at all. How ungrateful I am!! I have my arms, my legs, yet I complained God like every second of my life.

Ps. Jussar was preaching about Confidence, he named his sermon PDA, stands for Pede Abiez (Yuu!). He said that having lack of confidence comes from:

1. Insecurity. We always concern about what people think about us. Every time we want to do something we always think about how people will react to our action.

2. Comparing ourselves to others. We can not compare Nokia to Samsung, vice versa, because they are just different. They have their own pluses and minuses.

Most of the time, we search for confirmation about our self-confidence from the external elements: the media, our friends, our surroundings. But self-confidence is not about what appears on the outside, it’s all about what’s inside.

According to Ps. Jussar, PD is when we know who are in Jesus, who has created us. It’s all about knowing who you are in Jesus.

And he gave out this illustration:

There is always situation when we see someone, and quickly we judge that person from his outlook. Quickly we say, “This person is such a big NO. His hair is just a big NO. He is wearing last year outfits. His face is full of freckles. His eyes are just so big. Where is his nose? I can barely see it, etc.”

But have we ever thought what will Jesus say about this person if we ask for his opinion?

Jesus will say this: He is precious. He is valuable. He is My son. He is my best friend. He is My bride. I created him according to My self-image.

Now put ourselves into that person position. Maybe we have been dealing with our self-confidence for a very long time. We always feel sad when someone despise us. We always feel down when someone gives a bad comment about ourselves, our family, our life, our clothes, our face, our hair, our nose, our skin color, whatever it is! All that we have to do is just simply remember that we are precious before God. Then all of a sudden, those people’s words sounds like nothing for us, for we know that our God will always love us no matter who we are, no matter how we look from the outside.

At the end of the sermon, I felt a drop of tear sliding down on my cheek. Then I saw Zachary standing on the stage, smiled, and simply whispered, “I told you.”

I Miss IT.

Nip/Tuck, 2^nd Season, 3^rd Episode, Joel Gideon.

Julia McNamara (when Annie lost her Frisky): Loss is a part of life. You can’t really care for something or someone, until you realize that one day they may be gone. And when they do go, we feel as if everything goes with them, and we feel like we’ll never really care about anything again. But we do. And we discover that that loss was a gift that helps us appreciate all of the things we still have.

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It’s just funny. IT came in my dream last nite, it wasnt a gud dream. IT has been popping on my mind lately. I tried to call IT. But IT gave me no answer. I just miss IT. You’re IT.

Would You Take The Risk?

Smallville, 2^nd Season, 5^th Episode, Nocturne.

Lana Lang: If you really like someone, you accept every part of them. But you cant do that until they’re willing to share every part with you.

Clark Kent: But there are people who keep a part of themselves hidden so they don’t scare people away.

Lana Lang: If you want to get close to someone, you have to take that risk.

Clark Kent: What if the risk is too big to take?

Lana Lang: Then you might miss out on something that could be pretty amazing.

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Compare that script to my script on my still-not-finished-it-yet novel when Roweina and Bintang are having a debate on how to drag new people into someone’s life properly.

Bintang: Klab itu, menurut saya, bukan tempat yang baik untuk cari teman, apalagi cari pacar. Bahkan menurut saya, seharusnya perempuan itu ga pergi ke klab, bahkan kalau bisa enggak perlu ada yang namanya klab dan kehidupan malam.

Roweina: Saya enggak pernah bilang saya suka cari pacar di klab. Saya bilang, saya enggak menutup kemungkinan untuk temenan sama siapa aja. Mau kenalan di klab kek, di stasiun kek, di kolong jembatan .. apa bedanya?? Kenalan sama orang tuh emang kayak gambling, that’s just how life works! Kalo elo terlalu takut untuk kenalan sama orang .. ya .. itu urusan lo. Lagian mau kenalannya di gereja sekalipun, kalo itu orang emang karakternya enggak bagus ya enggak bagus aja. Enggak bisa nilai orang dari tempat apa yang ia kunjungi, mungkin aja orang-orang yang saya ajak kenalan ternyata baru pertama kali ke klab, atau mungkin terpaksa ke klab karena diajak temen-temennya.

Bintang: Ya .. tapi mencegah itu lebih baik daripada mengobati. Kamu harus pikirin segala kemungkinan yang ada.

Roweina: Ya .. saya ngerti. Tapi saya bukan tipe orang yang mau main di belakang garis aman, saya tipe orang yang berani untuk ambil risiko. Seperti kamu bilang, segala kemungkinan bisa aja terjadi, baik atau buruk. Saya ga mau tutup diri saya dari segala kemungkinan baik yang mungkin datang.

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They have the same message. So, would you take the risk?

We Laugh Until We Cry

The Harvest, Jakarta, 17.55

Wina dan Rhino menggila sambil ngopi-ngopi. Ngegosip, ngomongin artis kampungan di depan mata sambil nunggu Viona. Ini salah satu percakapan yang paling menarik,

Wina: Beneran, kita sering banget dapet project barengan. Coba sekarang lo kasih tau gw, apa yang gw buat, tapi dia enggak??

Rhino (spontan) Flirting???

Wina: MAKSUD LO??? BUKANNN ITUUU!!!

Rhino: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ouch ….

Dan sebuah bantal mendarat di wajah Rhino.

Stupido-Envy-Grateful

He walks with Starbucks in his hands ..
There he sees a man who's in a Ferrari ..
“Damn .. I envy him.”
“Hey stupido, be grateful .. look at that man over there .. he is starving for food .. while you can have your Starbucks everyday,” kicks the conscience.

She walks out from gym .. after losing 10 pounds of her weight.
There she sees a woman who just got a botox-injection, a lil bit liposuction .. her body is so stunning.
“Damn .. I want to be like her. How long should I go to the gym just to have that beautiful shape that she got only for a few minutes, just because she has a rich husband.”
“Hey stupido, be grateful .. look at the old woman over there .. she is much much fatter than you are. She has no money to pay for botox .. nor to pay the gym. You are luckier than she is,” kicks the Conscience.

She sees this couple hops out of the limo. The girl is wearing new Hermes bag, and new Manolo heels. Her husband, is wearing Armani newest suit.
“Damn .. those stuff must be fake!!”
“No, those are real. You envy her, because you still wearing your Prada heels from last year spring/summer collection, and you just got divorced. Be grateful, you stupido .. that woman over there. She is a brand-new-widow, just like you. Her husband is a bus-driver, who was death in the accident yesterday morning, now she's all alone without money, and must take the responsibility to be the financial supplier for her 3 kids,” kicks the conscience.

A young boy just received his last salary. He is dispirited, “I need to find a new job soon,” he says.
He walks slowly .. feels desperate.
“Be grateful, stupido .. at least you still have your parents. And you still can find another job since you have skills. But look at that kid over there, he has no parents, and he has no skills nor knowledge .. the best thing that he can do to get money is by singing and clapping his hands from one bus to another,” kicks the conscience.

Zachary Cedric wif Lucy & Polka

Zachary Cedric is in the middle of the H-Spee Private Party.
He’s all alone until he meets those two beautiful ladies, Lucy & Polka.

Lucy: Helloooo, Zachary.
Zachary: Haii, Lucy, Polka.
Polka: Nice to meet you gorgeous.

Polka winks her eye, makes Zachary smiles.

Zachary: Finally we meet. My client has been telling me every story about you.
Lucy: Yeah our client too.
Polka: Yeah, so glad finally they met. They found out a lot of similarities between them. Alike attract alike. They have the same interests and other things in common.
Zachary: Good. Since the big Boss has prepared a plan for them. Do you guys know what the plan is??
Lucy: Uhm .. we’re not sure. But I think it’s about relationship.
Zachary: Aha .. yeah they’re good at it. They can teach a lot of people about relationship, you know being a good counselor and advisor to those dummies, yuppies, stupidos, and all the idiotic moron people.

Lucy and Polka laugh.

Zachary: But .. I just don’t understand, why did He send the two of you to handle her?
Polka: Ohh Zachary, it’s so simple. Because she is so stubborn!
Zachary: Well, my client is also a stubborn. He is Mr-Know-It-All, you guys shud meet him sometimes.
Lucy: Yeah, but there are some certain people like our client who needs two or three of us.
Polka: While some others, maybe they just need one of us. Just like your client.
Zachary: Yeahh .. you’re right. So, do you guys love your job?? Protecting her from all the bumpy roads??
Lucy: Oh cmon .. of course we do!! Indeed!! You know sometimes she makes us chuckle .. because sometimes, she just forgets that we are invisible and she is not. So, there are some particular occasions where she just chats with us with a very loud voice, and makes all the people around her think that she is just out of her mind. Ha ha ..
Zachary: Haha .. yeah I love that part too. My client also has the same problem. He sometimes just yells at me in a very crowded mal like this, “Oh shut up Zachary! I know what I’m doing!” And suddenly all the eyes are looking at him. Thinking what a weirdo he is.

The three of them laugh together.

Zachary: But I know for sure, even though sometimes he hates me, he just can’t live without me. Every time he has a problem, he will go like this, “Zachary where are yoou?? I need yooou!!!” I feel so good when he trust me to help him solve all the messy things he had done.
Lucy: Yeah .. what a great job we have, protecting all these kids for the great accomplishment of His mission upon this nation and generation.
Polka: So .. let’s just cheer for them, for us, for this generation.

Polka handing two glasses of champagne to Lucy and Zachary and then they celebrate their night as the special agent of the big Boss, celebrating their profession, which entitled: Imaginary Friend a.k.a H-Spee.

Me and Zach - Two Way Monologue

Zachary Cedric is smiling at me.
I am wondering why.
So I ask him, “Why are you smiling at me?”
He replies, “Hm .. just wanna tell you that I am right.”

“Right about what?”
“Right about people?? People .. they are just weird.”
“Yeah .. they are. We are.”
“Yeah .. today you have strong conviction that you’re not gonna do this, not gonna say that .. But the other day, you also have the strong conviction that you have to do this, and you have to say that.”
“Yeah … it’s all because of your conscience. You can not predict, when it will say no, when your head say yes. You can not say that you are disagree with your conscience. You don’t care about what the world will say .. when you want to shake your head, yet the conscience makes it nod. You can not put everything in black and white. When it comes to your heart, it will always be grey. Right??”
“Yap. Good that you still remember my words.”

Zachary taps my shoulder.
But then I sigh and look down to my feet.

“I just don’t understand, Zach.”
“I told you like so many times, that there are times when you don’t have to understand anything.”
“Yeah but I just can’t wait. I want to go to the final chapter, to know the very end result of all these circumstances.”
“Naah .. you know that you can not do that. You have to sit here, hold the book, and read it page by page, chapter by chapter, till you arrive on the very last chapter. You have to deal with it.”
“Hm …”
“Like I said before, whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there, with open arms, and open eyes.”

I smile, then I hug him.
Zachary Cedric, my imaginary friend, he disappears.

Sanguinis-Koleris-Melankolis-Phlegmatis

Setelah bebrapa kali kegagalan .. karena kesibukan masing2.
Akhirnya kemarin malam .. pertemuan antara Sanguinis-Koleris-Melankolis-Phlegmatis berhasil diadakan ..
Chopstix kemudian beralih ke DOME.
Ketawa-ketawa, buka-bukaan, diskusi, sharing ...
Koleris cerita dengan "kepimpinannya" .. dengan "tegasnya"
Sanguinis bercerita dengan "senyuman ramah keibuan"
Melankolis bercerita kadang sedikit menunduk ..
Phlegmatis .. mendengarkan .. dan bicara ketika diberi waktu.
Hahahaha ....
Sanguinis-Koleris-dan-Phlegmatis ..
ramai2 .. menyidang Melankolis.
Melankolis geram .. telinga panas, muka merah ..
Tapi memang itu kenyataannya ..
Kami sayang kamu, dan kami mau lihat kamu berubah.
Koleris cerita juga tentang perjuangannya dalam "pengorbanannya" ..
Sanguinis bercerita tentang ketakutannya akan kesempatan yang menanti di depan mata.
Phlegmatis .. hmm .. apa yang phlegmatis ceritakan ya??
Phlegmatis ada di sana hanya untuk membantu si Melankolis bicara.
Sedih .. kalo mau inget bebrapa bagian dari pembicaraan kemarin.
Tapi kalo memang itu yang terbaik .. Phlegmatis sepertinya sudah sangat ikhlas ...
Sanguinis-Koleris-Melankolis-Phlegmatis ..
Lucu ya mereka ..
Dari berbagai background berbeda .. dengan tingkatan usia berbeda.
Dunia "jaminan-jiwa-dan-masa-depan", dunia "desain-dan-sgala-misteri-di-dalamnya, dunia "kekotoran-Indonesia", dunia "pena-dan-kertas".
Empat karakter yang saling melengkapi ...

-Remind me that we'll always have each other, when everything else is gone-

Haahhh .. haru biru.

Phlegma + Anti Social = Me .. "the weirdo"

Kemarin saya terbangun dengan perasaan tidak karuan, tidak bisa dijelaskan.
Anti-social saya sedang tinggi2nya ..
Saya terbangun dengan pikiran, saya tidak mau bertemu siapa2 hari ini, saya sedang malas berbasa-basi, saya sedang malas tersenyum, saya malas menyapa, saya tidak mau disapa, saya hanya ingin sendirian!
Anti-social dicampur dengan tingkat phlegmatic yang tinggi.
Jadinya “extremely weirdo”
Yap that’s me .. I am the “extremely weirdo”.
Gw kemarin sebegitu enggak perdulinya sama keadaan yang terjadi di sekeliling gw.
Dua orang yang gw punya hati untuk ketemu kemarin cuma DATE Leader saya, dan teman pria saya, itu pun karena saya memang sudah janjian ketemu sama mereka.
Maaf untuk yang lainnya …
Saya tidak murni mendengarkan ketika orang bicara menyapa saya, saya tersenyum palsu, saya tertawa palsu, saya hanya ingin semua kegiatan saya hari itu berakhir!
Saya mau pulang, dan kembali ke kesendirian saya.
By the way, pulang gereja bertemu dengan Nasya .. ohhh I miss u so much, Nenas!!!
Si persaudaraan-manado saya yang juga sahabat karib-partner saya, yang ternyata partner saya memiliki sahabat karib-teman sekampus-teman saya … dunia yang begitu kecil!
Sayang kita hanya bisa bicara sebentar karena waktu yang terbatas.
Pulangnya ke Kelapa Gading sama MJJ ..

He was about to buy a note book.

Then he asked me: do u want to eat now in this mal, or do u want to eat later when you are finally at home?
Me (phlegma to the max): uptoyou.
Him: Ok then, I choose the second one.
Me: Alright then. Mmm .. so are you going home after you get your notebook?
He nodded.
Me: Well .. do you mind to accompany me for having lunch in this mal??
Him (smirking): What a weirdo you are! (I know you didn’t say this, but I know deep inside you think I’m weird).

Phlegma gila saya kembali terjadi ketika kita mau pilih tempat makan.

Him: What do you like to eat.
Me: Hm .. I dunno.
Him: Well, if you dunno .. then I’ll choose.
Me: Ok.
Him: How bout Teppanyaki?
Me: Hm .. not really in the mood. I would like to have other options.
Him: Ok then, up to you.
Me: Hm .. well, why don’t we just eat Teppanyaki?? That will be great.

He he .. maaf saya memang aneh.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha …. Phlegma phlegma .. lalalalalalalalalalala thang thang thang thang thang … que sera sera .. what ever will be will be.
Kemarin gw sangat tidak perduli, sangat tidak mau tahu, dengan apa yang terjadi di sekeliling gw. Bahkan kalo kemarin ada bom meledak di mal itu, gw pikir gw akan bilang ..”Oh it’s just a bomb, not my business.”

He he he .. yeaa .. hidup phlegma!!!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Jim Carrey (Joel) and Kate Winslet (Clementine).

Gila!!! Keren banget ….!!! Yang belom nonton wajib beli DVD-nya.
Gw yang biasanya gw suka film drama, kemaren pas nonton itu, abis perasaan gw dimainin sama tuh film .. sinting!!! Kena karma gw.
Itu film inspirasional banget soal relationship.
Gw suka banget bagian di mana, Joel dan Clementine tau mereka udah mau pisah, karena bagian terakhir memorynya Joel udah mau diapus, terus Clementine nanya gini ke Joel, “what do we do?”
Joel yang udah capek berusaha mati2an untuk menyelamatkan Clementine dengan membawa dia lari2 keliling memorinya .. cuma senyum dan bilang, “Enjoy it”.
Wauw ….. sangat menampar gw, karena beberapa bulan ini gw sangat takut kehilangan mereka yang gw sayangi. Sisi melankolis saya sedang mendominasi beberapa bulan belakangan ini.
Dalam relationship, kita kadang suka dibuat pusing sama hal-hal yang ada di dalamnya.
Kita terlalu sibuk, menyelamatkan hubungan kita dengan orang2 yang kita sayangi.
Padahal harusnya kita tahu, semua itu udah ada yang ngatur, bukan kita yang ngatur.
Jadi yang harus kita lakukan cuma “ENJOY IT”.
Toh seperti ending filmnya, mereka berdua by God’s grace, bisa ketemu lagi.
Emang kalo jodoh tuh ga kemana (gw ga cuma bicara soal pasangan hidup, tapi juga orang2 yang saat ini sedang menjalin relationship dengan kalian)

If you love somebody let them go, if they return they were always yours, if they don’t they never were.

Gara2 film ini gw kembali diingatkan pada perkataan Stella soal sahabat.

“Sahabat itu bagaikan matahari. Elo bisa menikmati mereka di waktu siang, tapi mereka menghilang di waktu malam. Tapi elo ga pernah khawatir akan kehilangan mereka, karena elo tau … ketika besok elo buka mata, mereka akan kembali berada di sana menemani siang hari lo.”

Oh Stella!!!!!!

Gw suka lagu penutupnya.

“Change your heart, look around you.
Change your heart, it will astound you.
Now I need you lovin, like sunshine.
And everybody gotta learn sometime.”

My most romantic date would be …??? Hmm .. I dunno.

I played truth or dare last Sunday nite wif some of my best friends. There was one question that kinda kicked my mind and heart, it was for my friend, a boy, this is the question …

“What is the most romantic thing that u will do for ur someone special?? What is ur imagination of ur most romantic date??”

I sighed, and this is wat I said deep inside my heart, “thank God, this is not for me .. because I don’t think I have the answer.”

By the way, my friend came up with this answer, “I will set up a candle light dinner, on a yacht, if I couldn’t afford it, I will just rent it, there will be romantic music played, I’m gonna wear tuxedo, She will wears gown.”

What a very classical-romantic-guy he is!!!

This is my thought about this .. “Thaa .. it slightly disgusts me .. this guy is clearly has too many what so called very stupid romantic scenes from the drama movies that he ever watched.”

Then my conscience kicked me, “Yeah rite .. what about you?? That is a gud answer, and I wonder .. what is your answer, if the question was yours??”

I started to think really hard .. but BLANK!! I couldn’t find any answer!!!

I’m not that romantic kinda guy, and I’m a phlegma .. so que sera sera … and I’m looking for another phlegma too .. so she will also says que sera sera ,, as long as we feel happy then we will be just fine. I don’t really care about the context .. I care about the content, as long as I have mutual time wif the girl that I love, even though only by internet connection, sms, telephone call then it’s enough. It’s more than enough for me. That’s what I call wit romantic date. It is when u can feel really close to someone no matter how far you are from the person. My perfect or the most romantic date is when I can give my divine partner, everything that she could ask for … I’m not gonna prepare a romantic music, or a special candle light dinner, or rent a yacht. All that I’m gonna do is just ask her, “wat is it that u want from me?? Wat is it that I can give for you??” .. And fulfilling her request with all my best .. that’s wat I call romantic.

let's learn about relationship..

This time, it’s not People.
This time, it’s love .. the opposite sex.
I really concern about boys and girls relationship.
Got very confused, well .. not that “confused” .. about this topic.
Maybe, just a lil bit amazed .. with all the facts that I got.
It keeps me asking, it keeps wondering, it increases my level of curiosity about the opposite sex.
After a little chat about the opposite sex wif some of my friends .. I found some classic stories that usually happen between guys and girls.

Here they are:

A. Seorang pria bertemu dengan seorang wanita. Si pria ini sangat baik, manis (secara perkataan dan tingkah laku), gentleman, charming .. sementara si wanita, tipe yang melankolis, menyerap semua yang diberikan oleh si pria ke dalam hatinya. Si wanita salah persepsi terhadap si pria, dia pikir si pria bersikap begitu, karena menyimpan perasaan khusus padanya, si wanita jadi bingung bagaimana meresponinya, dia ingin menunjukkan ketertarikannya namun dia takut disangka GR. Si pria, mulai melihat perubahan dalam diri wanita, si wanita jadi aneh .. Maka si pria akan mulai berpikir, “Ada apa dengan dia??”. Si pria akhirnya jadi takut atau malas atau mungkin kesal sama sikap si wanita yang menyalahartikan kebaikan yang telah diberikan si pria, maka si pria pun mulai menjauhi si wanita. Meninggalkan si wanita sakit hati.

Pelajaran yang saya ambil:

1. Enggak semua cewek itu sama. This is the thing, cowok emang pasti punya naluri untuk bersikap gentle sama cewek. Tapi .. cowok juga harus belajar, bahwa enggak semua cewek bisa diperlakukan sama .. ada cewek yang bisa diberi kebaikan secara ekstra, ada yang harus diperlakukan biasa saja. Ada cewek yang cuek, ada cewek yang membawa semua ke dalam perasaannya. Saya sendiri beberapa kali dihadapkan pada situasi ini, kebaikan saya disalahartikan oleh si cewek, saya jadi malas dan menjauhi dia. Hubungan kita jadi rusak. Secara enggak langsung, saya jadi bersalah.

2. Cewek-cewek .. kalian juga harus belajar, enggak semua cowok itu sama. Ada memang cowok-cowok yang dengan sengaja menggunakan “kemanisannya” untuk menjerat kalian, tapi ada juga cowok yang memang dari bawaan lahir “manis”. Makanya cewek-cewek kalian juga harus belajar lebih peka, apakah si cowok ini baik karena dia ada “feeling” atau memang pada dasarnya dia hanya berbuat baik???

B. Ada yang namanya faktor kesamaan.

Kadang seseorang bisa suka kepada orang lain, ketika mereka melihat segudang kesamaan yang mereka temukan di diri lawan jenis. Rasanya seperti menemukan belahan jiwa yang hilang (halahhh ..).

Pelajaran yang saya ambil:

1. Don’t be stupid. Jangan terlalu senang dengan hal-hal yang “SAMA”. Baru kenal terus menemukan banyak persamaan, kemudian langsung berpikir, “dialah belahan jiwa saya”. Ternyata setelah dijalani, lebih banyak “BEDA” .. hati-hati!!

This is some stupid scenario.

Boy: Hey what is the color of your sheet??
Girl: Green.
Boy: Hey, me too!!
Girl: Yeah .. great. But my sheet is flowery.
Boy: U know wat?? ME TOO! (the guy got very excited). My mom picked it for me.
Girl: Funny. So what is your favorite food??
Boy: Kebab.
Girl: Yeah .. me too. I like it so much.
Boy: Well, I think we can be a great couple, since there are so many similarities between you and me.

DANG!!!!! See?? That is very ridiculous!!! In fact it slightly disgusts me!

2. Kadang segala sesuatu yang sama itu enggak enak juga. Perbedaan sepertinya jauh lebih indah. Saya kenal dua orang yang punya karakter sangat mirip, si cowok punya apa yang si cewek punya, begitu pun sebaliknya. Kalau mau ditanya cocok atau enggak?? Jujur saya jawab, cocok .. karena mereka sangat mirip satu dan lainnya. Tapi .. bahayanya kalo semua sama, terus apa yang kalian cari dari lawan jenis kalian?? Bukankah hubungan itu mengenai saling belajar untuk sama-sama menuju ke satu tingkat yang lebih tinggi?? Gimana bisa belajar kalau “gw udah punya apa yang elu punya”.

C. Cewek seringkali memberikan nama bagi pasangan mereka.

Ada yang menamai pasangan mereka dengan nama binatang, “my lovely duck”. Ada yang menamai mereka dengan nama makanan atau minuman. Ada yang menamai mereka dengan sesuatu yang begitu serius dan berat, sampai harus buka kamus terlebih dulu.

Pelajaran yang saya ambil:

Tidak ada. Cuma memang ini sesuatu yang lucu. That’s why I wrote it down. Para cewek, kalian siap kalau suatu hari cowok yang kalian suka tau tentang nama panggilan mereka??? Pernah berpikir apa reaksi mereka?? Hmm .. be careful ya.

D. Buaya darat ketemu kucing betina. I love this one. Si cowok penggombal bertemu dengan cewek penggombal .. main gombal-gombalan, saling mengumpan, saling menjerat untuk masuk perangkap. Ya ya ya … berbahaya sekali memang.

E. Dari kawan jadi pasangan. Saya tipe yang cuma bisa suka sama orang yang sudah dekat sekali dengan saya. Tak kenal maka tak sayang. Tapi seringkali saya jumpai keadaan di mana, cewek2 berkata, “gw paling enggak bisa jadian sama sahabat gw.”

Pelajaran yang saya ambil:

1. Since saya sudah pernah mengalaminya. Jadi, next time saya akan pastikan dulu apakah dia tipe yang bisa jadian dengan sahabatnya atau tidak. Jangan sampai saya sudah terlanjur dekat, tapi malah berujung jadi sakit hati. (dari hati nih …)

F. Karakter. Phlegmatis, sanguine, melankolis, koleris. Menurut saya bagus kalau mencari pasangan dengan melihat karakter mereka .. apakah mereka gabungan dari melan-kole, phlegma-melan, sanguin-kole, phlegma-sanguin, sanguin-melan .. u name it!

Pelajaran yang saya ambil:

1. Ya jadi lebih spesifik aja kalau cari pasangan. Jadi tau the right target. Kalau sebelumnya saya tidak tahu soal karakter2 ini, saya cenderung buang waktu dengan memilih sembarangan orang. Tapi setelah saya belajar soal karakter ini, saya tinggal bertanya kepada mereka, “what is your character”. Kalo karakternya sangat berlawanan dengan karakter saya, maka ya .. “Goodbye.”

Well .. I think that’s all. Masih banyak sih .. sebenernya kalo mau ditulis di sini. Tapi ya .. yang namanya ngomongin hubungan pasti enggak ada habisnya.

Zachary Cedric - Sacrifice

Zachary Cedric is crying .. he is sobbing.
Then his Master comes and taps his shoulder.

Master: What’s going on Cedric? Why are you crying?

Cedric: Oh Master .. I lost my Hyra and Dyra. Zogra, the devilish witch took them away wif her last nite. She sneaked in .. when I was sleeping. And when I woke up this morning, they are just gone.

Cedric then continue to sob.

Master: Oh stop it, Cedric! Be wise. They are just dolls!

Cedric: But I really love them Master!!! I spend most of my times playing wif them. I don’t wanna lose them.

Master: Well, you have to deal with the reality. They are just gone, they are not yours anymore. And there is nothing that you can do about it. You have to let it go.

Cedric: I cant! It hurts me. I really really hate Zogra! Cant you just vanquish her? Shud be easy for you, aite?
Master: Yes. But it’s just not me. I don’t vanquish people because other people hate them.

Cedric: Master, have you ever lost someone or something that you really love??

Master: I have. Don’t you remember my Son?? I gave him to this world.

Cedric: Oh yeah .. sorry.

Master: Listen dear, do you really want to know why Zogra took Hyra and Dyra from you?

Cedric: Why??

Master: I told her to do so.

Cedric: But why???? What’s so wrong with them??

Master: Nothing wrong with them. But sometimes, you just have to let something go, in order to achieve something new in your life. I want you to learn that. Besides, I’m the one who brought them into your life, so I have the right to take it back from you.

Cedric: But why?? You know how much I love them. I cant live without them.

Master: See? That’s your problem. You love them more than you love me. Can you answer this question, who is your ultimate master, Cedric?? The one who you love the most?
Cedric: Well, it’s supposed to be you.

Master: Right. But since Hyra and Dyra came into your life, you start to replace my position with them. They became your master. You spent most of your time with them, you forget me very quick. You never spend your time to talk to me again in the middle of the night, you never worship me anymore. I just miss that .. I just want to get your heart back to me.

Cedric: Oh master .. you are just jealous, aren’t you??

They both smile.

Master: Yes, I was jealous.

Cedric: I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it.

Master: No, it’s ok. One thing that I want you to learn. Don’t you ever dare to put your trust and hope to something, or someone in your life. Especially to dolls! They are not even real! They were made from plastic. But me?? I am eternal. I am the beginning and the end. I will always be here for you. I want you to put me back on your very first priority. I want you to count on me. I want you to depend on me, not to human, or dolls.

Cedric:Yap, I will. Thank you so much Master. I love you …

Master: I love you too, dear.

Then Master hugs him. After that, He disappears. Then Cedric sing this song:

“Change my heart oh God, make it ever true.
Change my heart oh God, may I be like You.”