my journal, 26th of january 2009

Happy chinese nu year, readers.

Umm today seems to be the first day in 2009 where I woke up very late (12.30 pm!) While normally my alarm wakes me up at 630am in the morning.

What a bless for occasionally having that long duration of sleeping time hehe.

Btw, I got the opportunity today to exercise my gifts, thanks to Irene who opened my eyes that those things are not meant to be something spooky. Instead, it is a gift from God which given to me for the purpose of glorifying Him.

I love to listen to people, and I love it when they ask me for my opinions. Because actually when I give people advices, it works as a reminder for me, like a note to self.

I regretted something today. I disappointed my mum yesterday, and made her angry. But I didn't feel the necessity to apologize, so I acted like nothin happen.

And normally if we had a fight, my mom won't take talk to me until I apologize. The longest "silent treatment" we had was like three months. Can you imagine living in a house with ur parents and don't talk to 'em because ur pride is too high. I hated those days, that was like in 2005.

But yesterday, the old me came back. I thought, "I don't care mum, if you don't want to talk me that's okay, neither do I."

As an adult and mature people, and especially as what-so-called spiritually wise person, I shudnt acted like that.

And today, when I woke up, my mom talked to me first. That was totally out of normal and sucessfully made me think, that I still have this childish side of me that I have to eliminate.

Btw I listened to Efek Rumah Kaca 2nd album "Kamar Gelap" today while working on my Media Management assignment.

One of the song is titled "Mosi Tidak Percaya." I really like the lyrics.

Ini masalah kuasa, alibimu berharga.
Kalau kami tak percaya, lantas kau mau apa.

KAMU TAK BERUBAH, selalu mencari cela.
LALU SMAKIN PARAH, tak ada jalan tengah.

JELAS KALAU KAMI MARAH,KAMU DIPERCAYA SUSAH.
LANTAS KALAU KAMI RESAH, SEBAB ARGUMENMU PAYAH.

Kamu ciderai janji, luka belum terobati.

Kamu tak mau memberi, kami tak bisa diberi.

Ini mosi tidak percaya, jangan anggap kami tak berdaya.
Ini mosi tidak percaya, kami tak mau lagi diperdaya.

Ps: read between the lines.